“Nothing,” she replied. “Mine was so extremely dysfunctional. My father is always drunk, my mother always beat kids. My brothers and sisters already got out of the house and I do not know what they are already doing and where they are. It(Family) is just something that I wish for that I know I will never have.”
A HAPPY FAMILY. Are you also one of the people who are in a quest for this?
Filipino family ties during the early years are superior examples of in high spirit, nurtured families. Other countries would envy how we do things all together — dine, go to church, watch a movie, shopping, go in an, how the whole family would go together to the airport when a family member arrives, how parents are very much supportive to their children’s concerns and a lot more. But now, for many, that was just BEFORE. Before when families are still given much time, attention and care.
Many Filipino families nowadays still carry out the picture of the healthy family like we used to have before. But as of these days also, reality speaks that the country whom many people envied of its close family ties already brought into being a high number of broken homes and unwanted families.
My imagination pictures a scenario where I am walking on the street one day and I meet a child wiping his tears.
“Why are you crying?”
“Are you lost? Where are you from?”
“No. I live there by the nearby kanto where people would always hear the loud cries of children, where father and mother always let plates, saucers and our things at home fly.”
“Huh? Why? Who is your father by the way?”
“I do not know. When father enters our house drank, expect a plate to fly again. My mother use to name him ‘Bitch’ and I call him the same. I have no idea of his real name rather. And I do not care. Our house is like just a hell of ‘bitches’ and ‘demons’ as they call each other there.”
“What about your mother’s name? Maybe I know her and I can talk to her.”
“Never mind. My father calls her ‘Crazy’ and I call her the same.”
“Ah. So where are you going then?”
“I’ll go find my friends. I will invite them to have some cigarette and liquor to somewhat forget this feelings for a while.”
As a Filipino, would I feel great? As years outdo, instead of family ties becoming firmer and firmer, relationship between family members came to be weaker and weaker.
Have you tried having a look to some old photos of your parents during their graduation days? They may not graduated with flying honors but can you notice on the pictures the presence of all siblings, parents and some relatives during that special day? Probably, you would. But in our present-day generation, you can even witness an honored student in tears while receiving her medals, ribbons, and certificates with just his great grandmother with him who could hardly walk already.
Currently, youth would enjoy dropping out of school, joining fraternity groups, being engaged in premarital sex and some are now officially called “batang ina” or “batang ama”. As a matter of fact, in the Philippines, 1 out of 3 aged 15-24 years old youth have involved themselves in premarital sex and 14 percent of girls aged 15-19 are already a mother. WHAT A WORRISOME NUMBER!
Researchers, with all their bests provided us all the reasons and causes why these things are being enjoyed by youth in order for solutions or preventions to be made. Peer pressure, lack of self-esteem, fear of rejection and many more came out – almost all pointing the blame to each child’s FAMILY.
Many would define the word FAMILY as the circle where they started to have Fears; for others, it is a dwelling where Anger reigns; it is also where others experienced being Maltreated; it is the circle where others feel Insecure to be with; for some it is something they never Long to be with anymore because of the experiences they had, and for others it is like hell where they always hear shouts and Yells.
On other family cases, my heart would cry for a friend who tries to live life with the best she can but inside her, she’s in a journey of looking for a father she has never seen since birth; for a friend who would embrace me with tears saying,”it would even be easier for me to know he’s dead than to see her happily living with that monster.”; a friend who dropped out of school after his father took away all their earnings and slept with another woman; and a friend who cries every time she whispers her birthday wish to have their complete family back again.
Is this already the face of the family that God, with great love had given to men? A place where many cannot feel the things that they are supposed to. As the years would go, will children try their bests to define FAMILY in the most negative way they can? This is not God’s idea for families!
Youth, we are the hope of our nation. In the years to come we should not let families become worse and worse. We can no more bring those days when our country is being envied of the close family ties. But we can do it again!